Homonyms

 Spiderman was demanding my attention. "Mommy! Mommy!" he whispered, "Mommy! Mommy? Are you on the phone? Can I talk to Daddy? Mommy!"
  "Husband," I said into the phone. "I have to go and discuss proper etiquette and respect with our son."
   "Fair thee well," he answered - or something like that.
   I hung up the phone and turned on the eldest offspring.
   "You were very rude, demanding, and interrupting," I said. "Dear, there are conse-"
   "No!" he shouted. "I'm not!"
   "Do not interrupt-"
    "I'M NOT AN ANIMAL"
     I blinked. "I'm.... sorry?"
    "I'm not a deer!" He frowned. "Don't call me that! I'm not an animal."
     It took my several seconds to get it. Then I fell over laughing.

     He's a clever one. I never did finish my speech.